Seeking advice from all.

I am seeking a valuable advise from all urgently.......

What is the best advisable age difference should be between 2 kids.

As far as me, for me it should be around 4-6 years.

But I don't know what should I do, first time of my life I got so much confused whether to go for second child or not.
As far as my wife and my only child (Kartik) are concerned they actually need one more member in our life.
I don't have any issue of having 1 more child but there some concerns and because of that I am not able to decide to go for it or not please advise.

1] I don't want 2 boys in our family cause every one expecting Ram in their house but is there any Ram in any families now days cause what I have seen is that yes there are so many Laxmans are still here but no Ram exceptions are always exists, so don't want my second child to suffer if he would be a boy cause can't be partial to any one.
2] I have heard from so many including my sweet mom that you have only one kid so u won't understand why we r with our other son by heart ( she is staying with us only and dad is no more) who is needy but for me it shouldn't be like that, it should be like that yes I am with this son by heart, mentally and physically because he is a gentlemen or we are with all our kids and living happily in joint family but unable to find any of these.
3] We are with this son cause he was with us, when we were in bad time, are yaar that time your younger son was very small, so please think about that also and some where he was also with u no matter little bit but he would be according to his age.
4] We are with this son cause he is having a girl and we have to take care of her or we have to accumulate fund for her marriage.
5] We are with this son because he is not earning like u do.
6] We are with this son cause he is not well in health like u.
and so many....

But I feel sorry cause it is not justified according to me.
Cause by doing this you are not helping elder son but u don't let him stand to behave strong cause it will make him dependable and lazy only, nothing more than that.

And because of all this I was not happy to have 1 more kid, yeah things would be different if I would have a girl in my house what I wish for @ time of my wife's 1st delivery but fact is we are having a son only.

Some how I make myself ready to go for second one cause my sweet wife is not leaving any chance to make me understand that 2 kids are needed for Kartik as well as for me too cause it is not about me only it is about us but now big issue for me is there would be huge age difference in between their age.
I told my wife about that yesterday that yes sweety I makeup my mind for 2nd child I took 2 years to makeup my mind cause 2 years before she had miscarriage and before also I have seen how difficult it was for her at time of 1st delivery and 2nd time when she conceived cause she kept doing vomite till Kartik has not taken birth even she did vomit if she drunk water means she was not able to have any thing. I told her that I am ready and I will take it as a big challenge of my life and I will try my level best to treat equally both of them if we would have a baby boy this time also and if that would be a girl then it will be best for us but things are not in our hands, so leave it to God but now Kartik is 9 years old and at the time of delivery he would be 10, so just think about it but she is not having any issue so I told her that I will take advise from all of my friends and specially to my child's specialist cause he is a Gentlemen according to me, he has supported and still supporting and advised well to us.
So friends please advise us if u can, it will be very helpful for us.

 

I think something is missing or may be I was not able to mention clearly and that is only age difference is bothering me, for other things I don't have any issue now, so friends pleas advise me is it right decision to have 1 more kid when my 1st child is 9 years old?

 

Yaar, Dont think much, God wants to bless you, take it. Because in our holy book God says, If God wishes we can not prevent He/She to come to this world, it is God who takes care of He/She, not we. I am proud father of 3 princess. There are couples who don't get single child in their whole life.....so go for it.

 

Thanks dear I must appreciate for ur valuable advise.

 

Ideal family should have one boy and one girl so to maintain equal sex ratio and to keep balance between older generation and younger generation .